Mentoring

The value of communicating effectively comes from knowing how we learn.

Knowing how we process information and learn directly translates to our personality and character.

Our verbal and non verbal communication reflects our learning styles.

4 Types of Learning Style: * Activist  *  Reflector  *  Theorist  *  Pragmatist

By becoming aware of your own dominant and secondary style it will help to appreciate how are brains are hard wired and why we respond the way we do. It may be a natural or learned response.

Next try to identify the learning styles of your colleagues, your partner, siblings, friends or children.   This insight will give you an opportunity to change your approach to get a positive response from them.

I recall becoming frustrated and feeling like a child when I was not being understood and listened to. In hindsight I realise my style of communication did not match theirs and so it felt like they did not care to listen or understand my point of view. This impacted how I felt about myself at the time and I carried this experience as reality for a very long time.  I did not know any better.

The learning process comes from our experiences and the opportunity to learn from how we all process information differently has helped me value our differences.  Luckily the opportunity to tweak my style and align myself with other person happens in every conversation. This awareness helps me to improve and it could help you to be more effective in your communication approach to. It certainly helps me to feel better about myself and in the process show my respect of their style too by listening and understanding them better.

Activists like to be involved in new experiences. They are open minded and enthusiastic about new ideas but get bored with implementation. They enjoy doing things and tend to act first and consider the implications afterwards. They like working with others but tend to hog the limelight.

Activists learn best when:

• involved in new experiences, problems and opportunities
• working with others in business games, team tasks, role-playing
• being thrown in the deep end with a difficult task
• chairing meetings, leading discussions 

Activists learn less when:

• listening to lectures or long explanations
• reading, writing or thinking on their own
• absorbing and understanding data
• following precise instruction to the letter

Reflectors like to stand back and look at a situation from different perspectives. They like to collect data and think about it carefully before coming to any conclusions. They enjoy observing others and will listen to their views before offering their own.

Reflectors learn best when:

• observing individuals or groups at work
• they have the opportunity to review what has happened and thing about what they have learned
• producing analyses and reports doing tasks without tight deadlines 

Reflectors learn less when:

• acting as leader or role-playing in front of others
• doing things with no time to prepare
• being thrown in at the deep end
• being rushed or worried by deadlines

Theorists adapt and integrate observations into complex and logically sound theories. They think problems through in a step by step way. They tend to be perfectionists who like to fit things into a rational scheme. They tend to be detached and analytical rather than subjective or emotive in their thinking.

Theorists learn best when:

• they are put in complex situations where they have to use their skills & knowledge
• they are in structured situations with clear purpose
• they are offered interesting ideas or concepts even though they are not immediately relevant
• they have the chance to question and probe ideas behind things 

Theorists learn less when:

• they have to participate in situations which emphasise emotion and feelings
• the activity is unstructured or briefing is poor
• they have to do things without knowing the principles or concepts involved
• they feel they’re out of tune with the other participants e.g. with people of very different learning styles

Pragmatists are keen to try things out. They want concepts that can be applied to their job. They tend to be impatient with lengthy discussions and are practical and down to earth.

Pragmatists learn best when:

• there is an obvious link between the topic and job
• they have the chance to try out techniques with feedback e.g. role-playing
• they are shown techniques with obvious advantages e.g. saving time
• they are shown a model they can copy e.g. a film or a respected boss 

Pragmatists learn less when:

• there is no obvious or immediate benefit that they can recognise
• there is no practice or guidelines on how to do it
• there is no apparent pay back to the learning e.g. shorter meetings
• the event or learning is ‘all theory’

To work on learning your style and changing your approach to get the most out of people and relationships get in touch… sonia@one2oneprofessionals.com

Role Models and great examples are important to identify with, to benchmark what is possible and challenge us to stretch beyond and out of the box we create.

They exist to influence and motivate the actions to tap into your potential and grow towards your wealth ambitions. Remember wealth  is classified as monetary value yet it includes the value of people, experience, opportunities and memories created along the way.

Successful people are passionate, disciplined and focused on achieving their outcomes. They define their growth with a plan of action and an inspiring vision. It means embracing change and often being the change.

1. What and who inspires you to change and grow into your very best?
2. What are you doing about it?
3. Have you started on your ambition or still making an excuse?

1. The Creator – Builds innovative products                                  Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Richard Branson
2. The Star – Builds an influential brand                                         Oprah, Paul Newman, Bill Clinton
3. The Supporter – Builds high performance teams                     Steve Ballmer, Jack Welch
4. The Deal Maker – Brings deals together                                   Donald Trump, Rupert Murdoch
5. The Trader – Buying and selling commodities                         George Soros
6. The Accumulator – Buying and holding assets                        Warren Buffet, Paul Allen
7. The Lord – Controlling cashflow producing assets                    Lakshmi Mital, Ingavar Kamprad
8. The Mechanic – Creating a system that can be duplicated     Michael Dell, Ray Krock

The top traits employers look for when hiring or promoting a candidate for management are confidence, professionalism and enthusiasm.

“First impressions count”. Whoever said it was right. We can never underestimate the lasting power and impression our behaviour makes. That impression has the potential to create opportunities far beyond a future you can imagine. 

Learning to express ourselves started at a young age and the response we had helped us to change and adapt our communication styles so that we achieved what we wanted. The downside of this type of learning is that we may have picked up habits we are unaware which affects the quality of the connection we make with others.

The following pointers are there for you to understand and assess if you can adapt it in your approach as the benefits of communicating effectively through non verbal behaviour will pay back lasting career dividends.

Express yourself effectively to send the right non-verbal cues.

Good eye contact:  Eye contact is your primary tool for establishing non-verbal connections with others. It communicates your level of involvement, interest and warmth.

A confident handshake:  Communicating through touch is another important non-verbal behavior. Always put your hand out to shake hands. A firm handshake will make and leave a lasting and positive impression.

Effective gestures: A gesture is any physical movement that helps express an idea, opinion or emotion. Strive to punctuate your words with movement that is natural, lively, purposeful and spontaneous.

Dressing the part: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If career advancement is your goal, convey a polished professional presence in the workplace. Pay attention to small details as they will notice.

Authoritative posture and presence: When you stand up tall and straight, you send a message of self-assurance, authority and energy. Good posture creates a dynamic commanding presence and an attitude of leadership.

Appropriate facial expressions: As your facial expressions are closely tied to emotion, they are often involuntary and unconscious. To show you are paying attention while listening, hold a very slight smile, nod occasionally, and maintain good eye contact.

Break the ice and initiate interactions: Be the first to make eye contact, offer your hand to shake, have an idea or solution, go into a room, smile and make the call. Make the first impression count.

Appropriate voice tone: “It’s not what you but how you said it”. Non-verbal elements of your voice include voice tone, pacing, pausing, volume, inflection, pitch and how you articulate. It conveys emotional meaning, attitude and impact which will make an impression which lasts.

Giving pure attention: This conveys attentiveness and creates open body language. Lean into the conversation; focus your eyes, ears and energy on them as it conveys your respect, honour and appreciation to meet with them. Make sure your arms and legs are uncrossed.

Responding to others’ non-verbal cues: When leading a meeting, speaking to a group, or interacting one-on-one always pay close attention to the other person’s  body, language, voice and tone.  Note their eyes as they can tell you when they have a question, want to say something, agree or disagree, need a break, require more explanation, or have an emotional response.  By responding appropriately to others’ cues, you not only convey confidence in yourself, you show a high level of empathy, sensitivity and care for them which results in building trust.